The Morning Rant

29/02/12 -- Been snowed under with work again this week, so just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, I return from walking the dog this morning (via the local greasy spoon) all tooled up and ready to hit the ground running.

Bacon butty in hand, along with the free cup of rather decent tea that they thoughtfully provide I am trying to juggle things like slipping the lead onto the dog, locking the car, keeping the bacon butty away from the dog and avoiding spilling my tea.

As I slip the lead onto the dog I feel something strangely moist. That's funny I think, his neck area feels like he's been in the river. But we haven't been down to the river, not on a Wednesday.

What can it be this moist sensation up my bacon butty holding arm? Oh no, he's only been and gone & rolled in "something" hasn't he, the little bugger. He's good as gold the dog apart from this affinity with "stuff" - stuff which is now on my hand and up my arm.

Hastily I check, is the bacon butty safe? It is. There's no brown sauce in sight. Next dilemma do I still eat it? My appetite for bacon is bordering on legendary, but even I am starting to think that I may just have to give it a miss this morning.

The dog is booted straight outside where I propose to leave him for the rest of the day. The bacon butty is on the table looking at me. I am looking at it. Obviously a visit to the sink is my first port of call. After that it's still there, all bacony and welcoming. The dog is whining at the back door, he knows that there's me and a bacon butty inside. Perhaps he thinks "if I've put him right off it then maybe I can have the lot?"

We'll never know. It didn't taste quite as good as normal, but it was still pretty good nevertheless. Now I have another dilemma. There's a little bit of bacon stuck right between my teeth. Which hand was it again....