A Day In The Life

Posted by Nogger - a legend in his own mind at 15:53 | Categorized as

01/12/10 -- Just popped out for half an hour in quite heavy snow to pick MrsN#3 up from her relaxing day at the local health spa, only to get back to a message to go and see Taff the angry Welshman over the road.

What could he want with me I wonder, maybe he's taken exception to that sheep story from yesterday I ponder? But no, I reversed into his car a short time ago and drove off without stopping, according to Taff. He knows it was me because the people at No84 saw me and came up the street to tell him.

The location of said dent in Taff's front wing and the positioning of his car on the road make it nigh on impossible that it could have been me. You simply wouldn't hit his car in that particular spot reversing off the drive to head off down the road. But the people at No84 are adamant.

"Yes it was definitely him, reversing off that drive in that big silver car, saw it with my own eyes," the Neighbourhood Watch insist.

"Could you please just come up the road then and show me where and how I hit it," I request. They are keen, strangely very keen to oblige.

So up they both come, in a family outing sort of a way. Think poor man's CrimeWatch. They're muttering. "It was definitely you, in your big car."

"14.49 it was," Miss Marple pipes up, as if she's made a specific note of the time, just as you would if you witnessed a multiple shooting for example. She seems a tad disappointed that there aren't any BBC film crews about. (And by the way 14.45 was my allotted time for collecting MrsN#3, and as it was snowing I'd left well before that).

So we arrive at the scene of the crime. "Here you are, your car there reversed off your drive there, and hit this car right here. Look you can see the tyre prints in the snow."

"Erm, but those tyre prints are pointing up the road and I reversed off to head down the road."

"Oh, now that I come to think about it I think the car that did it was a bit more silver than that. But it was definitely a Ford like yours."

"That is a Nissan."

"Oh yes, so it is. You know, I don't think it was you now."

I hope they aren't witnesses against me in a murder trial, that's all I can say.