Three Lions On The Shirt

All of them pussy cats it would seem after last night's toothless performance. The FA are complaining to FIFA I hear this morning after a fan breezed past security and into the England dressing room. I can only assume that he then proceeded to get changed into the full Lampard kit and subsequently enjoyed a 90 minute stroll around the pitch?

Not that I'm just blaming him of course, the same could be said for most of them, Rooney included. If it was a horse race I'd swear that the favourite had been nobbled by being given a couple of kebabs, three pork pies, a KFC bargain bucket and two litres of 7 Up just before the off.

The pigeon knew where the safest place to perch was though didn't he, in the back of the Algeria net, nobody was going to bother him in there were they?

Still, the squad did manage to take a few hours off from training this morning, to visit a local orphanage for underprivileged children and play a bit of football with the kids, which was nice.

"It's good to put a smile on a few faces, even if it's only for a couple of hours. These people have nothing, no hope, their lives are just one big struggle against one thing after another. It was very humbling really," said one of the residents, Jalal Umboto, aged 6.

"We were very unlucky, and their goal was miles offside," said a disappointed Fabio Capello after the game.

Local police are still search for Shaun Wright-Phillips who they say "got lost" during the visit. Emile Heskey's coveted barn door and banjo though are thought to be safe, and are likely to feature again against Solvenia.