Things That Really Annoy Me #1

Cyclists, who do they think they are? Especially those dressed up with all the gear on, protective goggles, girly tight-fitting fluorescent jackets, with their stupid little pockets of high glucose sweets and a bottle of 'special formula rehydration drink'. Whilst they cycle through the park on their way to work at MacDonalds. All tarted up like like Julian Clary after an explosion in a paint factory.

Out walking the dog this morning I had a close encounter with one. Hurtling along the public (note: PUBLIC) bridleway like Bradley Wiggins trying to knock 2/10ths off his personal best.

The dog, who was as surprised as me to see this multi-coloured flash appear out of nowhere, nearly came a cropper only to be met with: "you'd better learn to control that f***ing dog, or next time I'll run the f***er over". Before disappearing into the distance as fast as he had appeared.

I said the first thing that came into my head, which was a cheery "Mornin', Bradley!"

I think that the irony was possibly lost on him.

Perhaps "Two breakfast McMuffins please" might have solicited a better response?